Tea Time in Wonderland

Archive for the ‘Fiasco’ Category

My friend Benoit is going back to Paris shortly. He hasn’t experienced an afternoon tea yet! It’s hard to find one at the last minute, a quality one usually needs to be booked 2 months in advance. We thought we’d take a chance and step in the Athenaum – a five star hotel, rewarded this year by the Tea Guild Award of Excellence. This sounds promising and the tearoom does not look overwhelmed with customers.

I’m not sure we have any table left…

We point at one behind the young woman. Two free seats. Confused, she asks us to sit down.

We ask for the afternoon tea menu. The waitress brings one  for two – so much easier to choose… but this only shows alcohol and cocktails. We call her back, she exchanges it for the correct one. For some reason, it is not possible to have one per person.

We select the Mistletoe afternoon tea – £34, usual price for such a standing.

Tea arrives, served in silver teapots, lovely China cups, refined flavours.

Here comes the Golden Fizz cocktail. The side of the flute is sticky as if it hadn’t been cleaned properly. Mmmmh.

A larger table is available, we are asked whether we would like to move. We’re delighted. However it proves to be close to the entrance with icy air coming in when the hall door is opened. A cup of tea gets cold within two minutes. We adapt.

The waitress brings a plate of sandwiches: roast Turkey and Seasonal Berry Chutney; Honey Roast Ham with Red Onion Marmalade; Free Range Egg and Cress; Scottish Smoked Salmon and Cucumber with Cream Cheese. I am asked to choose. I’m surprised – the whole set has always been included in the upmarket afternoon teas I have tested before. I ask one of each. I’m even more perplex when I notice a whole plate being offered to a nearby customer without asking him to select anything. These are nice enough, each finger sandwich having a different kind of bread.

15 mn pass. Ah, here is a tower of treats. First level: an elegant scoop of clotted cream. Second level: two servings of jam, a strawberry and a blueberry one. The menu stated “mixed berry and vanilla jam”. Mmmm? Which other berries? Which vanilla or is it incredibly discreet? How come the top of the jam is so solid it comes away with the spoon? How long has it been sitting in this bowl? Third level: three tiny scones -  cranberries and spices, well baked, tender and fragant, the highlight of the tea.

Another 15mn. Again, I am asked to choose from a selection of cakes. To my knowledge there is no “or” in the menu. And the portions are small – understandable and usual for a selection, not if you are to select only one. I request one of each. Ok, but nothing transcending. A slice of chocolate yule log. A tasty mince pie. A star shaped shortbread, each branch dipped in white chocolate, sprinkled with dried tasteless strawberries. A snowflake cupcake: that size actually is referred to as a fairycake. A dollop of icing, not enough to cover the cake, a little coconut. Not much taste to it. I know where to find better ones! I actually can cook better ones!

That’s when our waitress suddenly disappears. We chat, we finish our tea. We grap our coat – it’s getting chillier as the temperatures drop outside. Most customers have left. Some arrive and ask for dinner.

40mn wait. I am now pretty fed up, ask a waiter for the rest of the afternoon tea. He brings an extra teapot and a plate of pastries. An ok stollen cake, a cupcake and a mince pie (already got those), mini chocolate Santas in foil paper – supermarket treats? – a hard marshmallow dipped in chocolate.

The Aberfeldy Single Malt Whisky Fruit Cake and the candy canes are nowhere to be seen. I’m pregnant, tired, annoyed and really cold. I ask for the teacake and crumpet which were supposed to arrive between the stollen and the chocolate santas. The waiter tries to bluff his way: oh, we usually bring them last. Sure. Entirely credible. Nice try.

Here they come. Only half a toasted teacake and a crumpet. Both lukewarm. The butter will not even melt on them! The crumpet is still cold inside…

I just want to be out of here. We arrived at 16h30, it is now 18h45. I ask for the bill, refusing to pay for the service. No one will bother asking why. No sign of a manager. Not even an excuse or a compensation. This is a joke of a 5* service.

The quality of the food is nowhere close to luxury. Neither is the service. Since when are the customers cold in such a place? Left aside to wait and check what should be on the menu? On what is this Tea Guild of Excellence based, exactely? We definitely haven’t had the same experience.

This was Benoit’s first experience of an afternoon tea. And of a palace.  He’s not likely to try it again.  What a dispappointing time!

You want to impress a lover, a mother in law? Stay away from this address. Prefer Yauatcha. It will not be a 5* but at least the service is correct, the treats exquisite, the wow effect really close to luxury and the portions bigger: one of their scones is bigger and tastier than the 3 presented here. Oh, and it costs £10 less.

A definite lack of elegance, taste and care towards the customer.

The Athenaeum
116 Piccadilly
Mayfair
London W1J 7BJ

I had been flooded on Twitter and Facebook with notes about the Icecreamists. They’re opening! The flavours a soooo out of this world! You won’t believe your tastebuds! I read about absinth ice cream, cryogenic cocktails… I really wondered what the Obamama flavour would be like.

Licking my lips, I pocket the VIP invitation for the opening. I get there in advance but people are already getting in. Ah! But nobody’s checking the guest names. A few shoppers join in, try their luck, get in. So much for the VIP effect.

The decoration is entirely back with touches of neon pink. Gothic-Kitsch! An excellent group sings some vintage Prince which makes me think this is going to be heavenly. In a corner stands a customised ice-cream van: black and pink again, the Queen driving, a reference to Banksy. God save the Cream!

I’m given a menu, brought to a table, explained I can ask for samples if I cannot choose. I look at the prices: the Sex Pistols cocktail is at a mere £19…! Gosh, your appetite curbs down immediately. Normal ice-cream portions are at £3.99. You have to pay for the opening party? No indication.

The waitress takes my order. She can’t hear me and I try to scream over the music. My portion arrives in a design glossy black pot. Is lready melting and dripping on the side. Flavour like, it’s quite nice, sorbet like, very soft, very sugary. Not extra-ordinary. I step to the counter, I’m curious abour the bread one. Oh, and the rose too. Oh, and the sex pistols exists as an ice-cream, not just in a cocktail? I wait and wait, being ignored. An exhausted waitress finally telle me, a touch unnerved, that they don’t do samples anymore. She does not propose a second ice-cream either.

End of the game for me. Waitresses do not ask for any feedback. Anyway, they had already given my table to someone else. Noone seems to care about people leaving. We don’t even get a good-bye. That’s an opening party?!

Verdict?
The theory was good. Vice-creams, ice-cream boutique. Molecular ice-creams. It sounded really good. The deco has been worked on.
But prices? You come here to impress a lover, that’s quite an expensive stop for two cocktails…
Ignoring people on your first day is not the best idea either. On that day… they’re your best friends.
The ice creams are good. But… those are all big names hiding, most often, a simple flavour. Obamama? Milk chocolate with a hint of salt. I’d rather have a little name but a big flavour.

In a nutshell: a trendy place -  you come here to be seen, to know the cool places, to have tried the different ice cream, the ones seen in the magazines. I’m not sure what the Sex Pistols would say, but I’d go for the Rolling Stones “I can’t get no satisfaction”.

Want some cool ice-cream?
- For the same price, head for Freggo and try the dulce or even the Malbec and berries… The deco also plays a glamour note.
- Grab a nectarine one @ Gelato Mio (2.50) close to Embankment and sit in the sun in the Embankment gardens…
- Try the kiwi ice-cream at Scoop (£2) then head for Covent Garden…
- Finish with a sesameor chestnut ice-cream (£3.50) @ Feng Sushi after a stroll on South Bank

The Icecreamists
Selfridges
The Ultralounge
400 Oxford St
London, W1A1AB

Tube: Bond St

Malgre mes recents deboires avec le service clients Liberty, je ne resiste pas a venir admirer leur nouvelle collection. Vous n’aurez pas de mal a trouver votre chemin…

Il y a chez chez Liberty un equilibre elegant entre classicisme et modernite. Des motifs minuscules mais un fini frais et colore. Des fleurs tres girly mais une coupe dynamique. Le batiment meme reflete ces dimensions – produits ultra-tendance sur structure Tudor…

Ou le nouveau motif de Meg Mathews… (pineapple). Une touche rock’n'roll…

Montez au 4eme etage. La marque a invite 6 artistes influents qui presentent leurs creations, dont une maison entierement courverte de bandes de tissu… Ou les bicyclettes suedoises Skeppshult revisitees…

Jetez egalement un coup d’oeils aux affiches revisitant les collaborations passees avec Chloe Sevigny, Kate Moss… Nike!

Les tables regorgent de produits declines dans les differents motifs, chapeaux, carnets, tasses, boutons… wellies!

Vous y trouverez egalement les poupees et les broches de Amanda Fatherazi, au look annees 50, deja reperees par les bloggeuses a la mode…

Une promenade tres rafraichissante. Un must pour les fashion-addicts!

Pssst! Levez les yeux vers les toits. Saviez-vous que cette girouette doree represente le Mayflower?

Prints charming
Liberty, 4eme etage / 4th floor
Great Marlborough Street
London, W1B 5AH
Metro / tube:
Jusqu’au / Until 02 septembre 2009
Gratuit / free!

Despite my recent disappointment with Liberty’s customer services, I could not resist stopping by to admire their new collections. It won’t be hard to find…!

Liberty has always kep this elegant balance bwteen classicism and modernity. Micro-designs but colourful and a wow effect, like a painting. Girly flowers but a dynamic style. The building itself reflects this vision – trendy products in a Tudor architecture.

Even the new motif by Meg Mathews has a rock’n'roll touch to it.

Go straight to the 4th floor to enjoy the Prints Charming exhibition. I prefer to take one of the old fashioned wooden lifts.

6 influent artists present their creations, such as this sweet wendy house entirely covered with strip of fabric.

How not to love the Swedish Skeppshult bikes revisited?

Don’t forget to have a look at the posters, traveling through the past collaboratiosn with famous names such as Chloe Sevigny, Kate Moss… Nike!

Your eyes will also feast on the fantastic collection of products in Liberty designs – hats, notebooks, mugs, buttons… wellies…

You’ll also find the brooches and dolls specially made by Amanda Fatherazy- a lovely 50ies look, applauded by bloggers a la mode.

A very refreshing exhibition and an absolute must-see for all fashion addicts.

Pssst! when leaving the building, look up towards the roof and look for the golden weathervane. Did you know it represents the Mayflower?

Une ballade d’article en article me mene sur le site du tres chic Liberty. Une page est consacree a leurs soirees Cupcakes and Cocktails, le dernier jeudi de chaque mois. £15 le ticket mais tentant tout de meme, un cote Cupcakes in the city.

Pour plus d’informations, une adresse mail et un numero de telephone. Il est tard, j’envoie un mail.

Trois jours et demi plus tard, aucune nouvelle. Pas de message d’absence ni d’erreur n’ont repondu a mon mail. Rien non plus dans mes junk.

Je tente d’appeler: le numero sonne dans le vide.

Au bout de deux essais, on me transfere, je finis par tomber sur la messagerie du restaurant, je laisse mes coordonnees.

En fin de journee toujours rien. Je saisis un enieme fois mon telephone. Une dame m’explique que le contact donne ne travaille qu’a mi-temps (et donc apparemment 3 jours maximum par semaine?) et que de toutes facons, desolee, toutes les soirees sont completes, au revoir.

Liberty a beau etre un grand nom, peut-etre devraient-ils apprendre a…

- updater leurs pages d’evenements – une ligne aurait evite bien des frustrations.

- laisser des messages d’absence pour ne pas laisser poireauter les clients.

- apprendre un peu de politesse: a quoi bon sert le repondeur du restaurant?

Je suis une cliente assez rancuniere. Se laisser appater pour etre ignoree royalement par la suite? On ne me la refera pas. Je suis a un fil de ne plus retourner a la boutique.

You know how it goes… An article on the web leads to another and I end up on the Liberty website. A page mentions their Cupcakes and Cocktails evenings, the last Thursday of each month. How so Cupcakes in the city, how tempting at £15!

For more information, an email address and a phone numbre are indicated. It’s quite late, I send a quick email.

3 days and a half later, still no news. There had been no error or out of office message and yes, I have checked my junk file.

I try to call. Ring-ring-ring.

Two tries later, I finally get transferred, end up on the restaurant voicemail. I leave a message, my contact details.

Still nothing by the end of the afternoon. I grab the phone, feeling quite frustrated. A lady explains that the contact only works part time (from what i work out, 3 days max a week?) and anyway, sorry, all the evenings are booked anyway, good-bye.

I work in customer services. As far as I know, there are some very basic and simple rules to follow to keep customer happy:

- If you decide to use the web as an advertising media, keep the information accurate and updates. Like adding a line to an article if the future dates mentionned are not available anymore.

- Be available for the customer. If you’re not able to get back to them quickly -say 24 hours to be reasonable – delegate or at least, put an out of office message.

- Politeness usually works too. Why put a voicemail service if you do not bother calling back?!

Call me vindicative if you wish.  If you advertise, you do not then ignore the customers. I won’t be fooled twice, believe me. I’m a thread away from never stepping into Liberty again.

Napket. Snob Food.

C’est le nom qui nous arrete. Snob food? Quel est donc ce nouveau concept?

Un coup d’oeil a la carte. Les pates ont l’air delicieuse. On apercoit les cuistots en pleine action.

Le lieu surtout est elegamment decore – chic, de beaux lustres, de vrais couverts travaillers, nappe et serviettes en coton epais, corbeilles de petits pain francais certainement faits maison, moulins Peugeot… Mmmh, c’est un peu cher mais tentant. Justement, nous avons comme un creux.

Nous choisissons une table a l’entree pour profiter du ballet de la rue. La carte arrive. Nous demandons au jeune serveur a quelle point la taille est differente entre une petite et une grande salade. Il est confus, repond qu’il faut choisir, son anglais n’est pas au top. Ce n’est pas grave, nous sommes francais, c’est probablement son premier jour, notre accent ne doit pas aider. Nous reexpliquons. il va se renseigner. La reponse est claire comme de l’eau de rocher. Une petite salade est petite, une grande est grande. Lapalisse n’aurait pas dit mieux… Des grandes, dans ce cas.

Vous notez en passant que le restairant n’a pas encore la license pour les alcools. Snob food sans verre de vin? Quel dommage!

L’attente se fait longue pour 3 salades. Du potager, soit, mais il semble reellement qu’ils soient passer les cueillir a l’allotment du coin! Les assiettes finissent par arriver, plus d’une demie-heure apres. Et dire que le restaurant n’est pas plein! Cela tombe bien: nous avions considerablement vide la corbeille de pain. Beaucoup de verdure dans chaque plat, lesquels ne sont pas tres grands mais les salades sont gouteuses, pas de regret.

Beaucoup, beaucoup plus tard, nous desesperons de pouvoir commander un dessert. Personne ne s’interesse a nous, malgre quelques essais de contact visuel… Nous helons le serveur, qui debarrasse la table…. et ne reviendra jamais prendre notre commande. Nous avons froid, la nuit est tombee.

J’irai chercher une responsable, expliquant que nous souhaitons payer, que les 12.5% de service soient otes de l’addition. “Je suis prete a prendre votre commande, si vous voulez!” ajoute t-elle enthousiaste: mais c’est bien trop tard, l’instant est passe, la frustration bien installee. En lieu d’excuses, la reaction est froide, le visage fige. La note arrive, moins elevee qu’attendue. Tout de meme, un geste commercial…? Bien sur que non: nous avions commande de grandes portions… le serveur a, lui, note de petites salades… Hum. Je ne sais plus si je dois etre ravie ou furieuse.

Snob, le restaurant Napket? L’equipe, en tout cas, saura vous snobber sans faute.

Napket
61 Piccadilly
London,
W1J 0DY
Plusieurs adresses sur le site web / several addresses on the website

Napket. Snob Food.

The name stops us. Snob food? What could this new concept be?

A look at the menu. The pasta look yummy. You can even see the cooks working at a distance.

The place is pretty elegant too.Very smart, impressive glass chandeliers, expensive cutlery, thick cotton tablecloth and napkins, bread baskets with proper (and certainly home made) French breads, pepper and salt mills from Peugeot… Mmmh, a bit pricey but very tempting. And thinking about it, we could just do witj something to eat…

We choose a table towards the entrance to have a look at people walking by – such a fashion show. We ask the young waiter how big the difference is between a small and a big salad. He’s confused, asers that we have to choose. His English is not the best, it’s probably his first day and being French, our accent probably does not help. We explain again, he goes and asks the cooks. The answer is terribly logical. Small is small and big is big. We hide a smile, he really tried. Big ones, then.

Looking closer, we notice the restaurant is not yet allowed to serve alcohol. Snob food without a glass of wine? What a shame!

The 3 salads take a long time to arrive. From the patager, said the menu: did they actually look for a local allotment to get them? Here they are, finally, more than 30mn later and the restaurant is not full. Good timing though: we had almost finished the bread. The plates are not that big, we can see a lot of green… but yes it is very tasty, no regret.

An awful lot later, we desperate of ever ordering a desert. noone seems to care about us although we do try to make eye contact. We’ll call the waiter, who will take the plates away.. but will never come back. We’re cold, it is now night.

I’ll find a manager, explaining we now want to pay, without the 12.5% service charge. “I’m ready to take your order now if you want!”… but it’s too late, halas, the moment has passed, we’re too frustrated. I expected apologies but the reaction is just steel cold. The bills is cheaper than expected. A good will gesture? No. Although we had asked for big salads, the waiter had written down small ones. Of course. I don’t even now how to feel anymore: delighted or furious?

Napket: a snob restaurant? Yep: the staff certainly snobs you.

Les vitrines de Candycakes sont toujours epatantes.  Colorees, funky, une vraie fete d’anniversaire. Les fans d’Haribo ne peuvent passer devant sans saliver… Elle se reperent d’ailleurs de loin!

La trademark? Un muffin geant, avec glacage psychedelique et decoration en bonbon tout aussi fantastique. Le choix est large: citron-pavot, myrtille, pomme-raisins, baies-yaourt… Des parts de gateaux, enormes, couvertes de sucreries sont egalement disponibles. Willy Wonka serait fou de joie.

Le verdict? La pate est farineuse, peu gouteuse. Le glacage est extraordinairement chimique. Des 5 testeuses, 3 adultes et 2 enfants, aucun ne finira sa part.

Un festin… pour les yeux. Une belle occasion de delire, de photo.  Je recommanderais plutot, a quelques pas de la,  un cookie au double chocolat encore fondant de Ben’s ou un adorable cupcake chez Primrose Bakery. La, vous vous regalerez vraiment…

Candy Cakes
Unit 30Covent
Garden Piazza
London
WC2E 8RA
D’autres adresses sur Londres sur le site web
More addresses throughout London on the website
£2.90 – £3.50 / candycake

Candycakes windows always made me dream and dribble.  Such a party! Always colourful and funky: you cannot help but stop. You see them from meters away.

The trademark? A kind of big muffin, bright coloured icing, a Haribo sweet on top. And a wide choice of flavours: lemon-poppy, blueberry, apple-raisins, berries-yogurt… Huge slices of cakes, covered in sweets are also available. Willy Woonka would be mad with joy…

The verdict? Too floury for the cake, too chemical for the icing. Out of 5 testers, 3 adults and 2 kids, none will finish their treat.

A feast… for the eyes. An occasion for fun, for a cool picture with friends.

As for tastes, I would really recommend instead…. a (still warm and melting) double chocolate cookie from Ben’s or a cute cupcake from Primrose Bakery. Both are nearby and much more enjoyable.

Pour apprecier une ville, il convient de la parcourir a pied, dans tous les sens, de s’en approprier la moindre ruelle, la moindre facade, d’en noter les tout petits details…

Parfois, j’aimerais etre Mary Poppins et m’envoler d’un coup de parapluie, froler les toits, me reposer sur un nuage et toucher les clohers du bout des doigts. Et puis, scupter une fumee de cheminee en escalier et descendre admirer une sculpture par ci, nourrir les pigeons par la.

Plutot que de soupirer d’envie, je prefere grimper les marches… Justement, the Monument a rouvert recemment apres renovation. 311 marches pour apprecier Londres sous un autre angle…

Un morceau d’histoire important pour la capitale egalement. Le grand incendie de 1666 avait commence just’a cote, dans l’echoppe du boulanger du Roi (notez l’ironie!) de Pudding Lane. Peu de victimes mais les structures en bois de l’epoque n’y ont pas echappees 13200 maisons et 87 eglises detruites.

Fut decidee la construction d’un monument a la memoire de cet evenement tragique. L’architecte le plus celebre de Londre, Christopher Wren (qui a entr’autres reconstruit St Paul) propose donc cette immense colonne de 61.57 metres de haut… et situee a excatement 61.57 metre du foyer de l’incendie egalement.

Beaucoup d’hesitations a l’epoque: comment l’orner? Une statue de Charle II? Un Phoenix renaissant de ses cendres? Des langues de feu? Une femme brandissant un sabre, Londres victorieux? On se decidera finalement pour cette urne doree d’ou jaillissent des flammes… pour une simple question de cout. A l’epoque, l’impact etait fort: c’etait la plus grande colonne au monde.

Jetez un coup d’oeil a la base – vous trouverez sur l’une des faces une representation de la destruction de la Cite. Charles II y est represente avec son frere, surmontes par la Liberte, l’Architecture et la Science au service de la Cite.

Autre point interessant, cette colonne avait ete pensee comme instrument scientifique: le puits central, connecte a un laboratoire souterrain, pouvait accueillir un telescope mais egalement permettre des experiences sur la gravite et les pendules. Chacune des 311 marches est de 6 pouces pour faciliter les etudes de pression atmospherique… Finalement, il ne fut jamais utilise comme tel.

Verdict de cette visite? Prenez un sac a d’eau, des vitamines, de bonnes chaussures et une bouteille d’eau… L’ascension est ardue et les occasions de se reposer quasi-inexistantes. J’entendais des touristes allemands jurer derriere moi, tant ils n’en pouvaient plus. J’etais moi meme plus pres du Yorkshire asmathique.

Quant a la vue? La plateforme a ete recouverte d’une grille au siecle dernier. Par securite, bien sur, mais le charme est brisee. La vue est soit a 360 degres mais decevante. Votre regard tombe surtout… sur les toits d’immeuble moderne, leur climatisation, leur systeme de nettoyage de vitres. Vous apercevrez les points principaux, bien sur, le London Eye, Tower Bridge mais sans l’effet carte postale… 15mn d’escalade pour faire le tour de la plateforme en 10mn: deception.

A faire une fois pour bien connaitre la ville, pour la lecon d’histoire et parce que l’entree est tres peu chere.

Si vous n’avez que quelques jours sur place, preferez Saint-Paul, mieux place et dont le quartier est plus historique (avec une belle vue d’ailleurs sur la place Paternoster). Vous pourrez vous consoler en regardant la vue… de la webcam placee a son sommet!

Note aux parents: pas de place pour rentrer la poussette, il faudra la laisser dehors. Pas de toilettes non plus. Les moins de 5 ans auront du mal… pour le plus grands, sachez qu’un certificat de felicitations est remis a la descentea chaque visiteur, les enfanst adorent!

The Monument
Monument street
EC3R 8, London
Metro/Tube: Monument
Tous les jours / daily: 09.30-17.00
Adulte / adult: £3
Enfant / child £1
Webcam

To make a town your own, you really need to walk its streets back and forth. Absorb the buildings, the facades, the details…

Sometimes, I wish I could be Mary Poppins. I would open my umbrella and happily float away. Go and sit on a cloud. Touch the towers with my fingertip. Use the smoke out of a chimney to make myself a stair and walk down to look at a sculture, or feed the pigeons on a roof…

Rather than sigh and dream, I climb stairs. The Monument recently reopened after being renovated – 311 steps to see London differently…

This column really is a piece of history. The Great Fire had started nearby in 1666 – in the King’s bake’s kitchen (how ironic!) in Pudding Lane. Not too many victims but the wooden strutures at the times did not survive it: 13200 houses and 87 churches were destroyed…

It was decided to comemorate this terrible event with a monument. Sir Christopher Wren, London’s most famous architect (who rebuilt St Paul’s and most of the city) will propose this column – 61.57 m high… and exactely 61.57m from where the fire started.

There were hesitations at the time. what to put on top? A statue of Charles II? A phoenix? Fire tongues? A female with a sword, London victorious? Finaly, a golden bruning urn was chosen… because it was the cheapest option. At the time, you have to realise this was the highest column in the world…

Have a look at the base – one of the side depicts the reconsctruction of the city. Charles II is represented with his brother, and Freedom, Architecture and Science above them give directions.

Another intesting point: this was thought as a scientific tool. The center core was to welcome a telescope and could help for gravity and pendulum experiences -  all connected to an underground lab. Even the steps were built 6 inches high to enable atmospheric pressure calculations… Unfortunately, this was never used.

Verdict? Take a rucksack, vitamins, good walking shoes and a bottle of water… The climb is harder than you think as there is nowhere to rest. German tourists behind me  were swearing. I looked more and more like an asmathic Yorkshire Terrier.

The view? The platform was covered with a cage in the last century. It had to be secure, of course, but it really cuts downthe charm. The view is 360 degrees  for sure but is… disappointing. You look around, see a few landmarks of course but also… building. Plenty of modern building. Their rooms, thei aircon system, their windowcleaning material.  No postcard effect. 15mn walk up, 20mn walk round (and I took my time and finished my bottle of water):  I expected more.

To be tried once to say you really know London, because it’s part of the city’s history. Also because the fee is so very cheap.

If you only have a few days to spend around, I would recommend St Paul’s – better positionned, the buildings around are still classical and you’ll have a lovley view on Paternoster square too. As for the Monument, well… check out the webcam!

Note to parents: no place for the buggy, you’ll have to leave it outside. No toilets either. Under-5s will obviously struggle. A congratulations certificate is given to all visitors on the way down and older kids will treasure it!

Vous avez la fan-attitude et ne comptez rater cette expo pour rien au monde?

Vous vous attendez, bien sur, a de l’attente, une heure, une heure et demie?

Moi aussi. Apres deux heures de route, je suis arrivee un samedi matin a 11h00. Le musee ouvre a 10 heures. Comment vous dire…?

3 rues de queue. L’attente?

Les chanceux qui allaient rentrer etaient la depuis 09h30. J’ose imaginer qu’un jour de semaine, la file est moindre…

Cela dit, certains ont exploite le filon!

Si vous devez abandonner, ne desesperez pas… Vous croiserez peut-etre par hasard du Banksy au coin des rues…

- Au coin de High Kigsdown et St Michael’s Hill …

- Sur Upper Maudlin St, sur votre droite just’avant d’arriver au Royal Hospital for Children…

-A l’arriere du pub The Scotchman au croisement de Michael’s Hill et Horfield Rd. Prenez Horfield Rd et jetez un coup d’oeil dans l’encart des portes…

Bristol City Museum
Queen’s Road
Bristol
BS8 1RL
Jusqu’au 31 aout 2009 / Until August 31, 2009
Gratuit! Free!
Banksy’s website

You’re a Banksy fan? Are planning to see this show no matter what?

So am I.

You know there’ll be some waiting, of cours, an hour, maybe an hour and a half.

Think again. I arrived at 11.00 on a Saturday and the museum had only been open for an hour. And the queue, well…

…started 3 streets from there. As for the waiting time? 3 hours 30!

The lucky ones, about to get in, had arrived at 09.30. I can only hope it gets better on a week day…

Although some people really made the most of this opportunity!

If you have to give up, don’t despair… you may still come accross some Banksy in the streets. Look for:

- the corner of High Kingsdown and St Michael’s Hill rd,

- Upper Maudlin St, on your right, just before getting to the Royal Hospital for Children,

- The Scotchman pub, at the corner of St Michael Hill and Horfield Rd. Step up Horfield rd and look whith the doors at the back.

J’avais deja petit-dejeune au Brompton Cafe. La qualite des produits – des viennoiseries a la francaise – etait parfaite. Le service avait ete lent, l’accueil un peu hautain.

Tout de meme, c’etait bon.

Je passe en voiture, apercoit sur la vitrine “la vie en rose”, regarde sur internet: il s’agit d’un afternoon tea, a base de fleurs, cree pour le Chelsea. A £14.95, une aubaine pour Londres!

Je decide de redonner une chance a cette adresse – apres tout, cette experience mitigee venait peut-etre juste de la serveuse.

Hop, nous nous lancons. Un serveur nour propose un choix de table, nous optons pour celle pres de la fenetre. Mal nous en prend: nous allons cuire….

Une serveuse nous amene le menu. Pas de trace de La vie en rose. Nous la rappelons, elle nous amene une carte separee. Une the au choix, les sandwichs classiques et un aux fleurs, une madeleine lavande et miel, une viennoiserie aux fleurs, un scone aux epinard et un classqieu qui sera servi avec de la gelee de rose… Ma foi, tout cela a l’air delicieux, la serveuse garantit que tout est compris, nous en commandons deux ainsi que de l’eau plate.

L’attente commence. Les deux tables a nos cotes, dont les clients sont arrives apres nous, recoivent leur boisson. Je fais signe a la serveuse qui me mime “1 minute”. Puis revient avec nos thes. Ah. Et notre eau? Elle va l’amener. Un serveur arrive avec deux verres d’eau bien fraiche…. pour la table a cote. J’interpelle. L’eau atterrit enfin devant nous.

Autour de nous, les verres se vident. La table a cote commande a manger.

Je rappelle le serveur: il va voir. C’est l’affaire de qq minutes, assure t-il, ils sont en train de couper les sandwichs.

Le serveur amene un hamburger a la table a cote. Un hamburger est plus vite pret ici qu’un sandwich?!

Plus tard, j’appelle le manager. Qui finit par amener le serviteur muet et les patisseries. Il etait temps: nous sommes cuites et je menace d’attaquer les plats des voisins.  Je me demandais meme si tomber dans les pommes ne serait pas une option plus rapide pour avoir a manger,

Mais…? Ou est le scone aux epinards? La gelee a la rose? La patisserie aux fleurs?

Rappel du manager. Le scone? On ne le fait plus. On ne vous l’a pas dit? Allers et venues du boss qui tente d’echanger les desserts mais hors cadre fleurs. Il expliquera que cet afternoon tea ne se fait plus. Pourqui alors ne pas l’annoncer directement au client plutot que d’essayer de le bluffer? De le prendre pour un pigeon en lui refilant des produits qu’il n’a pas demande? Je fulmine.

Si le manager a tout de meme fait l’effort de nous proposer d’autres desserts au choix et de nous offrir une reduction… je reste sur une impression desastreuse. Entre l’attente demesuree, le desinteret des serveurs qui n’etaient pas debordes, l’arnaque du client et la qualite moyenne de la nourriture ce jour la (et Dieu sait que j’avais la dalle!), je conclue: FUYEZ!!

Brompton Cafe
225 brompton Rd
SW3 2EJ
www.bromptonquartercafe.com

I once had breakfast at the Brompton cafe. The quality of the pastries was just perfect – so very French. They also sold wonderful, mouthwatering breads. Service had been slow, barely polite.

But well, the food was good. Maybe the waitress had had a bad day.

Driving past, I notice an advertisement for “la vie en rose”. A look on the web tells me they’re offering a flower afternoon tea for the Chelsea Show. £14.95, what a deal for London!

I decide to give the cafe another try.

We chose a nice sunny day. A waiter offers a choice of tables – we’ll take the one close to the window. A big mistake: we’ll be steaming hot in no time.

A waitress brings a menu. Nowhere can we see the flower offer, we ask. She comes back with a different card. A tea from the list, classic and flower sandwiches, a honey and lavender madeleine, a spinach scone and a classic one with rose jelly, a signature flower pastry. Sounds yummy! And everything is included in the price. Wow! We’ll have two, please and two glasses of tap water.

And then… the wait begins. Two couples arrive, sit at tables next to us, get their drinks. I wave to the waitress who mimes a “one minute!”. And comes back with our teas. No sign of the water. She’ll bring it later. Yes, I can see it coming… But no, those glasses are for the next table. I wave again. Relief sigh, we finally get the water.

The table nearby orders food. I grab the waiter: he’ll check. Only a few minutes wait, he says, they’re cutting the sandwiches.

He comes back. With the next table’s dishes. A hamburger is quicker to fix here than a sandwich?!!

I call the manager. I’m fed up. He reappears with the classic tower filled with food. Yeaaaaah!

But…? Where is the spinach scone? The rose jelly? The flower pastry?

The manager is surprised. The spinach scone? Oh, they don’t do that one anymore – has nobody told us? He brings back different cakes. But not flower themed. In fact, they don’t do the flower theme anymore. Of course, why not lie to the customer and try to bluff him, let’s just replace everything, they won’t notice! hey, why would you care, right?

The manager did put the price down and replaced pastries. But we had come for a specific thing and we’ve been cheated. If you add the interminable wait, the waiters’ clear disinterest although they weren’t particularly busy, the bluff and the average quality of the food that day (and God knows I was starving), take my advice. Hungry? In a hurry? Feeling like a treat? STEP AWAY!

Vraiment a quelques pas du Borough Market. Jolie devanture, un interieur agreable, une ambiance et des patisseries tres francaises… D’enormes meringues marbrees…

On s’asseoit, on degaine son APN…

La serveuse arrive, un peu penaude… La patronne n’aime pas que l’on photographie.

Oh. Soit. Elle a bien sur le droit a l’image. On demande ce qui la gene, ce qui l’inquiete, par curiosite. La serveuse ne sait pas mais les consignes sont strictes. On rengaine. Un peu decues.

Un couple d’amis arrive. Moderne, trendy. Le gars sort un mac de son sac, le pose sur la table, commence de montrer des fichiers de photos a sa copine. La serveuse revient, lui demande d’eteindre son ordinateur. Meme raison – la patronne n’aime pas. Il s’indigne: il s’agit de ses photos sur son portable! Mais non, il n’aura pas gain de pause. Furieux, il se leve et quitte le cafe.

On se regarde. On se demande si on devrait egalement ranger son telephone, pu9isqu’il peut prendre des photos ET des videos. Va t-on se faire lyncher? On se sent… surveille. Pire qu’une CCTV. Legerement oppresses, on opte pour un simple cafe, sans l’accompagner d’une superbe patisserie.

Mais surtout, surtout, on se jure de ne pas y remettre les pieds!

Quel accueil! Pourquoi la patronne n’a t-elle pas le courage d’annoncer les regles de la maison elle-meme? Pourquoi ne pas jouer carte sur table d’entree: l’afficher sur la porte? “Ici, la technologie n’est pas bienvenue…”. Car au final, on n’a qu’une envie: en ressortir bien vite…

Patisserie Lila

1 Bedale street

Borough Market

London

SE1 9AL

www.patisserielila.com

Litterally 5 steps from the Borough Market. It looked so nice from the outside… There seemed to be a lovely atmosphere and the pastries looked very French… The counter was overwhelmed by huge and colourful meringues…

We sat down, grabbed our camera out – we both have blogs.

The waitress comes towards us, a little shy… The manager does not like customers to take pictures…

Oh. OK. Of course, she has the right. Out of curiousity, we ask why, what’s the threat? The waitress doesn’t know but the rules are strict. We put the cameras back. A little disappointed.

Enters a couple. Modern, trendy. The man opens a Mac, starts showing pictures to his friend. Here comes the waitress again – same message, would he please not use his computer here. What? He can’t understand why – he showing his pictures on his laptop! He won’t win. He gets up, furious and leaves.

We look at each other. We wonder whether we should hide our phones – after all, it can take pictures and videos. Will we be told off again? We feel… observed, judged. Worse than having a CCTV above our head. We will just order a coffee and not one of the scrumptious pastries.

We swear never, never to go there again…

How so unfriendly! Why doesn’t the manager come and talk to the customers herself? Why not be frank and tell it from the very beginning, wih a sign on the door? “Here technology is not welcome…”. You get out of there as quickly as you got in…