London: Tea Time in Wonderland

Allergic to technology? The mention of Html leaves you blank-faced?

Try the Decode exhibition @ the V&A. Code lines transform into colourful works of art, recreating themselves constantly in elegant curves… waves reacting to visitors’ movements… You can even have a ghostly picture of yourself projected.

A fab place for kids, really. Many presentations are interactive – like this tree reacting to the wind blowing outside the museum and shedding its leaves of light on the floor – shuffle through them. The best one certainly is this canvass on which you can project splashes of colours just by making your hands dance… Highly enjoyable, whether you’re a two year old od a full grown maestro. Alternatively, play with the 3D model of a city or carress the LED reeds that will light up as you brush past them….

Modern but enchanting – @ £5.90, a lovely occasion to experiment electronic poetry. Ideal with kids. Especially as with this 2 for 1 offer until January 31!

You might as well stop for a cupcake too @ the Hummingbird bakery, close to the tube station. Or maybe you won’t be able to resist Ben’s cookies, with their melting chocolate chips… (just at the exit of the tube station)

Decode
V&A
Cromwell Road
London SW7 2RL

Until April 11, 2010
£5 / adult

My friend Benoit is going back to Paris shortly. He hasn’t experienced an afternoon tea yet! It’s hard to find one at the last minute, a quality one usually needs to be booked 2 months in advance. We thought we’d take a chance and step in the Athenaum – a five star hotel, rewarded this year by the Tea Guild Award of Excellence. This sounds promising and the tearoom does not look overwhelmed with customers.

I’m not sure we have any table left…

We point at one behind the young woman. Two free seats. Confused, she asks us to sit down.

We ask for the afternoon tea menu. The waitress brings one  for two – so much easier to choose… but this only shows alcohol and cocktails. We call her back, she exchanges it for the correct one. For some reason, it is not possible to have one per person.

We select the Mistletoe afternoon tea – £34, usual price for such a standing.

Tea arrives, served in silver teapots, lovely China cups, refined flavours.

Here comes the Golden Fizz cocktail. The side of the flute is sticky as if it hadn’t been cleaned properly. Mmmmh.

A larger table is available, we are asked whether we would like to move. We’re delighted. However it proves to be close to the entrance with icy air coming in when the hall door is opened. A cup of tea gets cold within two minutes. We adapt.

The waitress brings a plate of sandwiches: roast Turkey and Seasonal Berry Chutney; Honey Roast Ham with Red Onion Marmalade; Free Range Egg and Cress; Scottish Smoked Salmon and Cucumber with Cream Cheese. I am asked to choose. I’m surprised – the whole set has always been included in the upmarket afternoon teas I have tested before. I ask one of each. I’m even more perplex when I notice a whole plate being offered to a nearby customer without asking him to select anything. These are nice enough, each finger sandwich having a different kind of bread.

15 mn pass. Ah, here is a tower of treats. First level: an elegant scoop of clotted cream. Second level: two servings of jam, a strawberry and a blueberry one. The menu stated “mixed berry and vanilla jam”. Mmmm? Which other berries? Which vanilla or is it incredibly discreet? How come the top of the jam is so solid it comes away with the spoon? How long has it been sitting in this bowl? Third level: three tiny scones -  cranberries and spices, well baked, tender and fragant, the highlight of the tea.

Another 15mn. Again, I am asked to choose from a selection of cakes. To my knowledge there is no “or” in the menu. And the portions are small – understandable and usual for a selection, not if you are to select only one. I request one of each. Ok, but nothing transcending. A slice of chocolate yule log. A tasty mince pie. A star shaped shortbread, each branch dipped in white chocolate, sprinkled with dried tasteless strawberries. A snowflake cupcake: that size actually is referred to as a fairycake. A dollop of icing, not enough to cover the cake, a little coconut. Not much taste to it. I know where to find better ones! I actually can cook better ones!

That’s when our waitress suddenly disappears. We chat, we finish our tea. We grap our coat – it’s getting chillier as the temperatures drop outside. Most customers have left. Some arrive and ask for dinner.

40mn wait. I am now pretty fed up, ask a waiter for the rest of the afternoon tea. He brings an extra teapot and a plate of pastries. An ok stollen cake, a cupcake and a mince pie (already got those), mini chocolate Santas in foil paper – supermarket treats? – a hard marshmallow dipped in chocolate.

The Aberfeldy Single Malt Whisky Fruit Cake and the candy canes are nowhere to be seen. I’m pregnant, tired, annoyed and really cold. I ask for the teacake and crumpet which were supposed to arrive between the stollen and the chocolate santas. The waiter tries to bluff his way: oh, we usually bring them last. Sure. Entirely credible. Nice try.

Here they come. Only half a toasted teacake and a crumpet. Both lukewarm. The butter will not even melt on them! The crumpet is still cold inside…

I just want to be out of here. We arrived at 16h30, it is now 18h45. I ask for the bill, refusing to pay for the service. No one will bother asking why. No sign of a manager. Not even an excuse or a compensation. This is a joke of a 5* service.

The quality of the food is nowhere close to luxury. Neither is the service. Since when are the customers cold in such a place? Left aside to wait and check what should be on the menu? On what is this Tea Guild of Excellence based, exactely? We definitely haven’t had the same experience.

This was Benoit’s first experience of an afternoon tea. And of a palace.  He’s not likely to try it again.  What a dispappointing time!

You want to impress a lover, a mother in law? Stay away from this address. Prefer Yauatcha. It will not be a 5* but at least the service is correct, the treats exquisite, the wow effect really close to luxury and the portions bigger: one of their scones is bigger and tastier than the 3 presented here. Oh, and it costs £10 less.

A definite lack of elegance, taste and care towards the customer.

The Athenaeum
116 Piccadilly
Mayfair
London W1J 7BJ

Fancy popping up @ the Sketch anytime but hate ever having to wait?

Try their new pop-up room in parallel of Earth, the new show of the Royal Academy of Art. Cute little boutique, elegant as the parlor is, aceent put on recycling, sustainable products, do and mend, turning unused objects into art, and the little crazyness touch we love so much in them. Of course your favourite treats will be there. You can even enjoy breakfast, lunch and tea-time.

A pity though – there is a canteen side to it: plastic cutlery, cardboard plate, not even a glass with your fruitjuice. Recyclable, for sure, nice touch but you lose the golden side of the place in a few steps. Same enthusiasm as ever looking at the jewel-cakes… but somehow they’re a little less savoury once you step away from the sparkly counter.

However, if you have a sweet tooth, this won’t stop you. What wouldn’t one do out of curiousity for a brioche-camenbert-green apple jelly? Or a pear tarlets with fruit infused in a cucurma syrup?

A little smarter, you can also choose to enjoy oysters on the external terrasse. Hot water bottle are on the side!

Pop-up Sketch cafe

In the building hosting Haunch of Venison, at the back of the main entrance for the Royal Academy of Art
6 Burlington Gardens
Royal Academy of Arts
London W1S 3ET
Until Jan 03, 2010

Paris is famous for turning pastries, cakes and sweets into an artistic competition. As for haute-couture, we have winter and summer seasons for our patisseries, you see. The chefs will create amazing combinations, as gorgeous looking as tasting. No fshionista would resist the trendiness of it.

A true Parisian would rush to the Sketch. This famous restaurant also has a funky tearoom. You probably will have to wait a little while for a table but the decoration and the fashion there is worth the wait. Actually, you probably will not even notice the wait, hypnotised as you are.

Mismatched cups, plates still create a colourful harmony. Pierre Gagnaire and his team have come up with dream-like deserts – gets quite tricky to choose and they’re only £5 (you can also buy them and take them back home)! There is tea of course but the choice of coffee also is excellent and this is such a change. The Jamaican blue Mountain will win your heart – £8 served in a tall cafetiere.

Love at first bite:

-  The best macarons in town. Forget Laduree (the service is not always that good and I often seem to know their new products better than the staff)

- Lunette : even just for its Guinness jelly, that goes so well with the tarness of the blackcurrant but also makes you feel like a stout rather than a refined tea. A welcome revolution in your 5 o’clock tea!

- Mendiant eclair : I switched from being a macaron addict to being an eclair addict. The French traiteur Fauchon has a collection of salted and sweet ones to die for. And this one is a little wonder. Your mouth will be full of soothing creamy caramel.You’ll even close your eyes. A thin layer of white chocolate on top, on which are balanced caramelised nuts.

Fancy a last Wonderland touch? The toilets…

Choose from…

Or will you prefere the egg version? Each cocoon proposes a different music theme. Classical, countryside like…

Not only a sweet pause – entertainement in itself!
The only negative note – the service is very kind but sometimes a bit slow.

Sketch
9 Conduit Street
London
W1S 2XG

Let’s meet @ Yauatcha for more treats!

I find the idea of an underground restaurant fascinating. these super cluns as they are called in the US are operated in someone’s home rather than the more rigid frame of a high street restaurant. Let alone the mystery factor (the address remains secret), its pop-up impact (you never know for sure whether there will be a next time or not), the trendy curiousity for it (you’ll have to be quick to book a seat, it sells so quickly!) and of course its originality (many have themed menus and sometimes themed evenings too).

16 different addresses in London, where to start?

Well, if you want a So British touch, try the Hidden Tea Room – not only are Lady Gray and her husband incredibly welcoming but they will serve you a montain of treats. More than you can eat, really, but no way to resist it, you’ll find a way…

I wasn’t feeling so sure when I stepped in the building. I mean, I was about so spend a whole afternoon in an unkown flat, with a bunch of total strangers. This could be a very long Sunday… I stand corrected. The fact only that you’re there puts you in the Love London /curious about life / sweet toothed category, same goes for the other guests. The glass of bubbly you are offered as soon as you step in is enough to get everyone chatting, exchanging addresses and comparing experiences. I do not recall a single minute of silence. A very rich human experience.

The dining room is simple and elegant – lovely black and white theme. The only colours come from the rainbow collection of cooking books oon the shelves which already have you drooling in anticipation.

And the feast begins… Extraordinary cheddar and chives biscuits, melting, warm, a touch of salted butter. To die for. You could beg for the recipe (and I am convinced some have). Nice American twist to the Afternoon Tea! It’s worth coming just for those, believe me. The traditional finger sandwiches – crunching cucumber, turkey and cranberry, ham and cheese….- do not stay long piled in your plate either.

Fab card for teas too – clearly, they take tea as seriously as I do. Classic ones, Darjeeling, Earl Grey… but also rooibos, a very fragrant Ooling with notes of watermelon and intriguing discoveries that will make your decision toufh: choco-truffle or choco-mint? A huge teapot is brought per person – enough for the whole meal but should you finish it, you will be asked whether you’d like a top-up…

Great idea to have a palate cleanser too – a scoop of very refreshing mango and pineapple sorbet – ideal dose, bright orange colour that can only make you smile in happiness. For now it is scones time people! Nature or with raisins, loads of them. Fluffy, light, just out of the oven… the best I have had since Yauatcha’s chocolate chipped ones. The menu should actually warn you: hughly addictive! Come the Monday, you’ll be sitting at work sighing, dreaming of a cup of Assam with a scone, the clotted cream melting on it, a dollop of blueberry preserve (much nicer than the usual strawberry)…

They could have stopped here – the guest already are more than staified with a huge grin on their face. This is a pure celebration of delights – toffee brownies to die for (how did she get this perfect melting heart?), tangy lemon drizzle cake, sugary shortbreads (should I dip them in the tea? or not? Oh well, I’ll just have two and compare). Of course there will be cucpakes, cream cheese frosting, my favourite, a very light but still chocolatey cake. i can’t help but considering for a moment grabbing the dish and running away with them. But then again, i would miss the jasmine tea – elegant bubble of tea leaves opening on a bright flower as it infuses – and the delicate tea truffle which ganache fills your mouth. The conversatio at that point reduces to a general mmmmmmh.

Lady Gray and her husband can finally put their apron aside and enjoy some time with us, discuss their underground experience, their vision of afternoon teas, their adventures. we have so many questions for them! Bravo to this adorable couple whose enthusiasm (and treats, let’s be honest) just makes the world a better place. You really feel you have spent an afternoon with friends not complete strangers.

Another way to live the Afternoon tea which gives it back its social dimension while still being finger licking good.

Hopefully Lady Gray will get a chance of publishing her recipe book – she’s writing it at the moment. We’re all waiting for this (pleeeeease put the scones recipe in!)

Hidden Tea Room
www.hiddentearoom.com

Check the list of underground restaurants around the world on SaltShaker’s web site.

Another rainy week-end ahead… Smile! Just take your umbrella on an adventure…

Here’s to put you in the mood:

- The Portobello Winter festival starts this wednesdau and will have thematic nights every Wednesday till Xmas

- Don’t forget to get prepared for those Xmas parties and meals: celebrate Thanksgiving!

Feeling better? Here’s for the week-end:

- Head for the new pop-ups before they blow away with the fashion wind… Nes-cafe @ Liberty and the famous Parisian Colette on Brick Lane

- Need your weekly dose of street art? Hoorray! Mutate opens its doors again @ Portobello.

- Even Damien Hirst is back @ the White Cube Gallery. It’s still time to see his No love lost @ the Wallace collection

- Spendid news pictures @ The Royal Festival Hall…

- Alternatively hum Only you @ Proud Chelsea… Great pics of a young Elvis.

- Kids will find happiness in Covent Garden – there will be a real reindeer to pat Saturday afternoon. Parents will probably prefer the amazing jewel exhibition that flashes magic lights under UVs…

You’ll find me @ the Secret Cinema… and having an underground afternoon tea. What’s YOUR program?

A slightly select address. More romantic, more of a celebration than having a pint @ the local pub.

You’re at the limit with the City, the bankers’ quarters, big names have their headquarters around here. You’ll see people in workins suits and ties.

Booking is mandatory, where you want to dine or just have a glass. Don’t be intimidated by the voice claiming they are fuuly booked. Insist on being put on the waiting list: they called me back whithin 12 hours to take my credit card number and guarantee my reservation (quite common in upmarket places: it forces you to be there on time or at least to have the courtesy to cancel which you might not do @ Pizza Express).

Stepping in the building is already an experience. The web site indicated smart dress- no worry, there’s no need to get your tux or cocktail dress  out. Elegant is more the word – lovely dress, great shirt and trousers, even nice jeans on a Friday night. We could get in without a tie. Avoid trainers though. We get a visitor badge at reception. Then there’s security, bags x-raying, metallic door. No risk taken here. VIP effect – especially if you wanted to impress a friend!

You’ll find a lift dedicated to Vertigo -no stop, it will take you there in 50 seconds. The staff is welcoming, the waiter will propose options, check on you regularly but will not force anything on you. Neither will he raise a brow if you only go for the one drink. Champagne is on the menu but also 5 cocktails, including a delicious litchee belini, a refreshing Kir Royal and a champagne, angustura and cognac that will make your eyes twinkle with happiness.

Wow exclamation also garanteed, even for blase people like me whoo have seen so many cities from towers already, dined in revolving restaurants, walked on glass roofs, even climbed on a 5* hotel roof in Paris to get a better view of the Louvre. Transparent tables follow the wal structure to give you a plunginh view down the city – litterally a carpet at your feet. the view’s great everywhere but do stop after coming in: you’ll see Tower Bridge and the London Eye. You’ll feel like a bird looking at stars below you.

Conversation? Superfluous. You’re hypnotised by the view. A cocktail is £12.50, but gosh, the magic is worth it…

A bit too smart for you to feel comfortable? head for those instead:
- Detroit, ideally placed close to Covent Garden. Galleries with splendid arches. Try the Twinkle: vodka, champagne, elderflower- £6.95
- Calloo Callay, in Shoreditch. Small prices for lunch and dinner, fun deco mixing 70ies with a sense of humour. If you’re coming with friends, order the ‘Mad Hatters Tiki Punchbowl’, served as tradition request in a punch bowl… but on a gramophone! (rum, creme de peche, rhubarb, ginger, lemon, angostura and grapefruit). Count £7-£8.50 for a cocktail.
- Le coq d’argent – terrasse with grass and a view on the City. Excellents cocktails, the best I have had so far. The barman delighted in creating a cocktail based on my mood – a green apple martini. You could have sworn he pressed the fruit in it to get each of the flavours out! I only payed £8.
- Want a very British side… A mar-tea-ni anyone? Served in a teapot, enough for 2. £7.50 at the Cavendish Hotel.

Vertigo 42
Tower 42
25 Old Broad St
London, EC2N 1HQ
Tube: Liverpool st

Get your umbrellas out this week-end to go and see…

- The new street art by Mutate Britain near Portobello Rd

- Discover the favourites for the Turner prize @ the Tate (including Roger Hiorns who likes to see life in blue)

- Shop fort art @ the Somerset House craft fair…

- take the kids to Saddlers’ Wells family week-end – an excellent dance show with workshops where 5+ can experiment with dance and shapes… There’s even one for toddlers!

- Dream of exotic India with the Maharaja exhibition @ the V&A..

- Rethink your house with the eco home exhibition at the Geffrye Museum…

- Be very brave and try a nudist flashmob on a London rooftop…

- Or simply, join me in my winter blues fight. I’m having an oriental afternoon tea @ Yauatcha – how could I resist grean tea and coconut scones?

Google Yumchaa and you’ll quickly learn its Cantonese meaning. You go to a teahouse to yum cha/chaa, to drink tea, but also to revive, to find yourself.

This is neither a tea room nor a tea house like Tea Smith. Soft hues for decoration, a vintage note to it, plenty of light, a very soothing white, a mix of romantic wallpapers. Your body relaxes as soon as you step in.

You look for a card, a menu. You get mesmerized by a collection of scones, muffins, chocolate cakes, urban picnic boxes. You feel a little confused, decide to ask for advice. Until now, you had read your teas, chosen them for the singing description, the poetry in the words. Not here. There is a crowd of small milk jugs in front of you, each containing a sample of loose tea.  Let yourself be seduced by the pigment of the spices, the floral or peppery perfumes, an experience, really. You’ll choose your tea by instinct, because it will make something hum in you, so very satisfying!

No tea bags, here. A real tea ritual, with silvery strainer and elegant movements: the perfume is so much richer, a travel in itself.

Tested and loved, the extraordinary Chilli Chilli Bang Bang: rooibos, cinnamon, ginger, red thistle, red pepper, chilli. Fragrant, a little spicy, energising. A must for a winter day.

As amazing, the Chelsea Chai: sencha green tea, rare for a chai, cardamom (tru it in coffee as well), cloves, red pepper, cinamon and  Egyptian mint. Refreshing, would be splendind iced or even to flavour a cake.

There’s free wifi too, that’s it, there’s no way you’re moving from here!

Yumchaa
45 Berwick Street
Soho
London, W1F 8SF
Another shop in Camdem. You’ll also find them at a stall in Camden market and in Partridge’s market

Since I’ve tried Ella’s cupcakes, the others taste terribly bland. A pretty colour and sugary stars are not enough to make a good cupcake.

Strolling through Westfield, one really intrigued me. Elvis Presley? Stop, turn back. Banana cake with a peanut butter icing. I’m not a big fan of the latter, but there is no way I can resist such a strange combination. After all, I have a reputation to think of!

And well, well, what a surprise! A lovely texture, very moist – reminds be of my childhood, cakes in the kitchen, fragrant, a teatime kind of treat. Comforting, not just pretty. Fantastic icing, a touch of sugar to temper the peanut butter. The kind of cake you’d like to steal the recipe of, bake it on a rainy Sunday, serve it with a Souchong.

A cake to take home.
Mmmmh. Really should get a few more to enjoy.
Mmmmh. I probably will have to come back The chocolate-zucchini is out of stock but quite tempting. Oh, and what about the bounty, wouldn’t that be good too?

The Buttercupcake shop
Westfield London Shopping Centre
One Ariel Way London W12 7GF
Also a shop near Kensington High St
£2.50/cupcake